A DOG'S PRAYER
NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP,
THE KING SIZE BED IS SOFT AND DEEP.
I SLEEP RIGHT IN THE CENTER GROOVE
MY HUMAN BEING CAN HARDLY MOVE~
I'VE TRAPPED HER LEGS, SHE'S TUCKED IN TIGHT
AND HERE IS WHERE I PASS THE NIGHT
NO ONE DISTURBS ME OR DARES INTRUDE
TIL MORNING COMES AND " I WANT FOOD!"
I SNEAK UP SLOWLY TO BEGIN
MY NIBBLES ON MY HUMAN'S CHIN.
SHE WAKES UP QUICKLY,
I HAVE SHARP TEETH-
I'M A PUPPY, DON'T YOU SEE?
FOR THE MORNING'S HERE
AND IT'S TIME TO PLAY
I ALWAYS SEEM TO GET MY WAY.
SO THANK  YOU LORD FRO GIVING ME
THIS HUMAN PERSON THAT I SEE.
THE ONE WHO HUGS AND HOLDS ME TIGHT
AND SHARES HER BED AT NIGHT!!!!
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DOG OWNER'S PRAYER
HELP ME LEARN TO DISREGARD
CANINE CRATERS IN MY YARD,
SHOW ME HOW TO BE A BUDDY
EVEN WHEN MY SOFA'S MUDDY.
DON'T  ALLOW MY POOCH TO MUNCH
POSTAL CARRIERS FOR LUNCH,
SHIELD MY NEIGHBOR'S CAT FROM VIEW,
GUIDE MY STEPS AROUND THE DOO!
TRAIN ME NOT TO CURSE AND SCOWL
WHEN IT'S PUPPY' NIGHT TO HOWL.
GRANT I SHAN'T AWAKE IN FEAR
WITH A COLD NOSE IN MY EAR!
GIVE ME PATIENCE WITHOUT END,,,,
HELP ME BE   "A DOG'S BEST FRIEND"
author unknown
JUST FUN!

Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets.
This is especially good if it's right before your humans' bedtime.

2  Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home,
put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act
as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the
humans frantically search the house for the damage they think
you have caused.

3  Hide from your humans. When your humans come home,
don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them.
and make them think something terrible has happened to you.
(Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken
and close to tears).

4  Wake up 20 minutes before the alarm clock is set to go
off and make the humans take you out. As soon as you get
back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep
after going outside; this will drive them nuts!)